The more I think it over, the more I feel that there is nothing more truly artistic than to love people. - Van Gogh
So I came across this TED talk by the author of Eat, Pray, Love. I'll be honest, I haven't read the book, I'm not a big fan of inspirational things. It's a wonder I worked for so many non-profits; selling the FEEL-GOOD thing kinda bugs me. My sister used to say (or still does), that I have no tear ducts (because I've only cried in two movies my whole life), and my brother Ruben has often said I have a black heart. I'll leave it up to you to decide.
I am currently reading the book
Tinkers, which has set me off in a spiral of self-loathing and depression. I can't handle old people. I can't, because not only do I see my future, but I see my present. Can I, on my deathbed, say that I have lived a full life? One without regrets? The true test: If I were to, in 50 years, sit down and dictate a memoir to my handy assistant/slave, would it be a book worth reading? I think a lot of my issues stem from my inability to believe I am talented, and by talented I mean, I do not possess admirable talents, and by that I mean, I'm no prodigy.
I blame the warped school system. Why? Because I remember sitting in 6th grade writing a note to each and every member of my class about what I liked about them. Half of them were lies; only because I didn't actually know 1/4 of my class and, I repeated several of my carefully crafted notes on the other 1/4. And of course, I got half-lies written back to me as well. That is when I realized that "you seem nice" or " I like your shoes" wasn't going to cut it. Eight years later, I still find myself sitting in class asking my peers to tell me what it is they think my strengths are, and eight years later, I still get half-lies. Not to say that my 20-25 year-old peers haven't matured beyond three syllable compliments, but rather, they tell me what I don't want to hear.
But, I digress. Point is, we have always been classified, and classified others, into the type of geniuses they are. Some are "book smart," some just "have better things to do," and some are just plain stupid. But then there are the others, that small, miniscule percentage of people who somehow make it into the limelight because they invented, oh I don't know, the internet.
My uncle, a genius in his own right, has always classified people into two groups: Vincents and Theos. Those of you familiar with the brother-ship of the Van Goghs will understand the allusion to its fullest. Those of you who don't, let me enlighten you. There are those who know what it is to feel and live a life of genius (Vincent), they are tormented souls, burdened with incomprehensible talent that goes beyond the understanding of any being. Then there are the Theos, though loved by the Vincents they may be, they fail to understand (or to feel) the great burden that is having uncontrollable talent. They are much more practical beings, burdened with the shallowness of everyday life. They cannot be blamed for such ignorance, and their envy cannot be refuted. Theos are, in today's terminology, "the average Joe." Of course, the construct of our society has made place for Theos, overwhelming them with the monotony of everyday decisions. And similarly, our society has erected pedestals to worship the Vincents, and I venture to say, rightly so; but I am no Vincent Van Gogh...although I DO wear nice shoes.
Coming back to this video, the reason I like it is because it deconstructs the notion that people, the chosen few, have been burdened with their genius. I am the first to admit that I am no genius, but I think this goes far beyond my traumatic experiences in grade school. I like the idea that those who are fortunate enough to experience something beyond themselves, pure genius, have been given that experience "on loan." I do not relish the idea that the genius they possess is not truly their own, but rather, that the genius they possess is not theirs alone to bear. You do not need to be a tortured soul to create great works of art. You do not need to, as Vincent put it, disregard the state of your clothes because you are too immersed in greater matters of existence, in order to create. But rather, true genius is something that flows through you, something that must be caught in the right moment and if caught, can be used to find the true meaning of Godliness. Hopefully you enjoy watching the video (it's 20 min long).
